We’ve all done it. A recent parent-child negotiation of yours has probably already popped into your head. Did I really say that? You’re asking yourself that question right now. I’m the worst culprit. And just like the bunk beds that I promised we could get once Baby R turned 4, I now have to deliver on a whole host of treats, travel, and independence that my naive past self thought my daughter would be ready for once she turned 13.

Magic number 13. If I’m being honest it seemed like a far off milestone. One that of course I knew we would hit eventually but like the thought of the kids leaving home, maybe going to university, or maybe getting married, or perhaps having kids of their own, it was all very abstract and not something I really thought about the reality of. But guess what?! Baby A turns 13 in August. Yes the Virgo is going TEEN. We have had the tweens. She is 12 going on 20. But the real life teenager is about to be unleashed and along with her teen spirit, I will have deal with delivering on several things I promised her once she reached this milestone.

Social media/You Tube channel

WTF was I thinking? Cast your mind back to 2020 when we were all locked indoors together, barely interacting face to face with other people. We, like many others, spent a lot more time looking at screens than before, and if I’m honest we haven’t really gone back. Frankly I’m not sure we would have collectively coped with a 2 year lockdown if we didn’t have Deliveroo (UK DoorDash), Amazon Prime and Zoom. I will always be grateful for the role technology and social media played in keeping us connected and mostly sane* during an epically difficult time. I spent ~12 hours a day on screens for nearly 2 years. I worked from home, socialised with friends and family, and completed Netflix, all from the comfort of my own home. I was one of those people who could easily go 3 weeks without leaving the house and not even realise.

Baby A turned 7 in 2020. She spent lockdown with less screentime than her parents but more than she ever had before. And amongst the things she did to pass the time as we worked away on our laptops was to start recording YouTube style videos using her ipad. She wanted to be a YouTuber she said. She wanted to have a make up channel. She did her sister’s make up and her own, talking through the steps and asking users to smack that like button, follow and subscribe!

She wanted to upload them. I said absolutely not. Since when did she watch YouTube anyway. I didn’t allow it so how did she even find out about influencers. Turns out I had been leaving YouTube running on occasion as I flipped between work calls and putting on Cosmic Kids Yoga, how to draw a penguin, and BBC learning videos. Dammit. Great – now they knew what “unboxing” was. The damage was done. No use crying over spilled milk. So I made a deal. The only deal I could see. I suggested that the videos could be stored on our family iCloud drive and when Baby A turned 13 (or when her younger sister turned 13 if the videos included her face), if she still wanted to upload them then she could.

I haven’t reminded Baby A about the videos. Maybe she doesn’t even remember…

*Acknowledgement here that not all of us faired so well from the social media rabbit hole.. YIKES!

Uber Teen account

Again with the scary technology solutions to everyday problems that yes I appreciate on one hand but also am very scared of. I will not suffer the same fate as my parents. I will not have to be a taxi driver to my kids all the time. I will be able to put them in a taxi, pre-paid for, and track their location the entire time. It’s gonna be awesome. Awesome, until I overthink it. What were the only rules my own mother had when I was finally allowed to leave the house unsupervised? Do not get in a car with strangers. Do not arrange to meet up with anyone you met online in real life. Now I’m about to summon strangers from the internet and put my oldest child into a car with them. The world is a very strange place, and aside from the obvious apron string pulling, I can’t put my finger on exactly what I’m nervous about. I don’t intend to let her just go anywhere she wants at any time. It will be handy to let her take an uber to girl guides when her sister has dance at the same time. It will be safer for her to jump in an uber if she gets on the streetcar in the wrong direction and is lost. But I can’t get over it. Maybe you can help me out in the comments. What am I missing? Am I overthinking? Please let me know.

Overnight camp

This summer Baby A will be going to Summer Camp for a whole week. She will most likely have a great time. There will be horse riding, climbing, aerial parks, swimming and more. I will be a baby-sitter down. I will have to convince Baby T to come to the shops with me every time I have to pop out. I will have to make breakfast for everyone all week. I’m going to notice the little things that Baby A does around here that maybe I don’t always fully acknowledge or appreciate. Thinking back to the fact that Baby A was 7 during Covid, is wild. Baby T is now 7 and she doesn’t have chores anywhere near as strenuous as the ones Baby A had during Covid. I hope she reads this one day so she knows that I know.

Trip to Japan

I didn’t say all of these were bad. I have promised all 3 of my kids that when they are 13 they get a trip. Just the 2 of us. Anywhere in the world. Amma has chosen Tokyo with the aim of trying as many good food places as we can in the week. I cannot wait. When she told me her choice I sighed and let that feeling that overall you are in fact winning at parenting sink in.