My youngest child is 7 weeks old. I’m so tired. There are plenty of moments that are not making me happy e.g. knocking over an open bottle of breast milk…. whoever coined the phrase “no point crying over spilt milk” had clearly never pumped their own milk before because crying for a little while made me feel a whole lot better.

Aside from the obvious joy that comes for many people when they become parents and welcome a new small human into the world, there are some pleasures that come from having just given birth that are just about the person that just gave birth. This list is about the things that are making me happy in myself right now.

1. Lying flat on my back

If you have never been heavily pregnant before then imagine when you climb into bed and lie back after a long day of work and instead of being comforted by the familiar contours of your mattress, you instead find yourself pinned to an alien torture device. A 4kg mass attached to your spine is wriggling and rearranging itself inside of you, kicking your diaphragm leaving you short of breath and pressing down on your lower back sending throbbing pain everywhere. Adrenalin starts to pump through your veins and your vision ever so slightly blurs as a survival response to your major blood vessels being crushed under the weight of the 4kg mass, which begins to cut off the supply of blood to your organs. Call me dramatic but this is what happens to many pregnant people when they attempt to lie flat on their backs. And the fact that you feel total unconditional love for the 4kg mass, may be the reason you have the will to go through all this, it doesn’t change the fact that lying down pain-free is impossible.

So now imagine the joy that comes from pressing the button on the hospital bed as soon as possible postpartum until it has reclined into the fully flat position and lying spread eagled feeling your spine unwind for the first time in months. For me it’s heaven and I shall now sleep on my back forevermore.

2. Eating & drinking again

I had gestational diabetes with this pregnancy but not with the last two so this was the first time I had to really watch what I ate whilst pregnant and it sucked. In a cruel twist of fate, my blood sugar rocketed when I ate chips. I love chips. So now I’m no longer pregnant…

Coffee, cocktails, chips, cheese: get in my belly. Yes I’m breastfeeding but I can still have a proper coffee everyday and the odd glass of wine. I can. I checked! And it’s not really about the alcohol. I couldn’t even drink mocktails or fruit juice because of the sugar so I only drank water; sparkling water if I was feeling adventurous. I had a virgin mojito the other day and it was amazing.

Chips with cider vinegar. Chips with melted Brie. Chips with curry sauce. Chips with mushy peas & mint jelly. Chips with- you get the idea! Yes I know I’m now at a higher risk of diabetes and I should be watching what I eat for the rest of my life. We should all be watching what we eat to a certain extent, and I am. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have chips once a week with something delicious poured on top.

I’ve found when I’ve breastfed all my children that if I eat gluten, they have terrible wind, eczema and BAD nappies. So once again I’m gluten free and I love it. It’s the baking of delicious cakes. Finding new recipes. Eating random dinners from what’s in the fridge because I can’t just boil up some pasta when I need a quick dinner. Yesterday the local Mothers’ Union held a cream tea so instead of scones I ate gluten free carrot cake with clotted cream on top and chocolate brownies.

In short: I’m in postpartum food heaven and I’m so happy about it!

3. Breastfeeding (and bottle feeding)

I love breastfeeding. I love being able to nourish another human using nothing but my body and the intimate bond that creates between parent and child. Feeling baby latch on, the milk being pulled down and the happy hormones releasing. Both of us visibly relaxing as she stops crying and tucks in.

Admittedly not every feed is as idyllic as that! I really struggled to breastfeed my first baby. It was easier the second time and this time I feel like we nailed it. She’s satisfied so she is sleeping in 3-5 hour stints. Whilst I am tired, I’m not in the manic sleep-deprived state I was in my first postpartum period when baby woke every 1-2 hours…

Through the process of feeding 3 babies and seeing them grow, I’ve learnt for myself that every life is truly a miracle. Everyone lucky enough to reach adulthood and whatever the circumstances, had someone who cared enough for them to feed them when they were a helpless baby and I think that’s beautiful.

Pumping my breast milk so that my husband can bottle feed is hard work but also brings happiness. I went out for dinner with a friend 4 weeks after giving birth. I left at 5:30pm and got home at 9:30pm. I left 5oz(150ml) of breast milk and some formula just in case. And they were fine. Roll forward a few weeks and we haven’t quite nailed the bottle feeding like I had hoped. Baby is starting to refuse the bottle but we will keep up with one bottle feed a day so that if I need to leave her with someone else I know she will be able to eat.

4. Cuddles

The practical consequence of having a massive bump is that it’s really hard to hug other people. Of course you can have hugs when you are pregnant but for me it didn’t feel great and they weren’t really cuddles. Not being able to pick up the older children, having to recoil and say “careful with mummy’s tummy” when they run up to me and dive in for one of our signature bundle cuddles (probably the same as everyone else’s bundle cuddles but they feel unique to me). It’s not just the kids. My husband, other family and friends all regularly wanted a hug. I wanted hugs too but frankly I already had someone else residing inside my body so the last thing I wanted was enveloping physical contact with third parties.

Now the bump has moved on and I am free to bundle, snuggle, cuddle and have my body to myself again. And of course last but definitely not least, that 4kg mass that miraculously grew from a little speck of virtually nothing inside me who will continue to grow and learn – I get to cuddle her too.