Date of visit: Tuesday 28th May 2019
Website: https://www.alexanderhotels.co.uk/alexander-house/

Alexander House Hotel Afternoon Tea Review Score
4/5 Overall Misohappiness

When baby number 3 arrived well before her due date I immediately began planning my first postpartum glass of champagne. I hadn’t been able to organise anything for my birthday as it was close to my due date so once we had been discharged from hospital and I was settled down phone in hand to feed baby, I googled “Surrey Afternoon Tea” and stumbled across the Alexander House Hotel. It looked nice on the website, had good reviews and an online booking form so I booked afternoon tea for:

1 x adult
1 x adult (vegetarian + gluten free)
2 x children
1 x baby (space needed for buggy at table)

When my birthday arrived a week or so later, we piled into the car for our first afternoon tea as a fivesome. As we turned into the winding tree lined drive through the well maintained grounds, we all oohed and aahed at the Tesla cars parked out front and the HELIPAD next to the car park. Next time we will come in the Westland. How convenient.

For a moment I regretted letting the two older children dress themselves for the occasion but then remembered that they looked awesome and that our money is as good as anyone else’s so in we went.

Everything was beautiful. We were led from the entrance hall to the lounge where afternoon tea was served. We were seated across from the fireplace with plenty of room for the buggy and for the kids to lie down and make snow angels in the carpet if they felt the urge. I’d booked us in at midday so that we wouldn’t have to give the kids lunch before we arrived and we had the lounge to ourselves for the first hour or so, which suited us perfectly.

Once our dietary requirements were confirmed, drinks orders were taken. Breakfast tea for the husband, champagne and rooibos tea for me and hot chocolate for the girls. I felt like whatever we asked for they would have found a way to make it for us. Milkshake, lemonade, mocktails and an array of different teas were all on the cards.

The food arrived quickly and the kids immediately ate most of their cakes. My gluten free cakes were delicious. I must admit the gluten free scones weren’t great – the flour had what I can only describe as an itchy texture on the roof of my mouth. However, everything else, including the standard scones, was on point. I judge an afternoon tea venue mostly by how generous they are with the cream and jam. No one likes to ask for more cream and this place didn’t disappoint with a long dish with scoops of thick clotted cream. It made me imagine how big the tub of cream they have in the kitchen must have been to be able to bury an ice cream scoop into it and pull out snowballs of clotted cream… we ate it with our teaspoons… mmmmm!

The kids made at least 4 trips to the toilet and were bowled over by the chaise lounge in the dressing area of the exquisitely decorated women’s toilet. But why is there a sofa in the toilet mummy? (Because drunk people need a place to lie down) Why don’t we have a sofa in our bathroom at home? (Because only the Queen and Kim Kardashian have bathrooms big enough for a sofa) Why isn’t there a sofa in the bathroom daddy uses? (Good question darling)

The bill came to £150 (£50 per adult; £25 per child) which I think was good value for a lovely afternoon out and the food & drinks we had. By the time we were done, others had arrived and the atmosphere was quiet, pleasant and relaxed. Although it was half term there were no other children there but the kids were made to feel welcome. We then spent another hour or so out on the terrace whilst the girls played on the lawn with the croquet set and giant chess. Baby slept through…

Happy Birthday :0)