Like almost all parents I know, there are so many things I wish I’d known when I became a mother for the first time. There is so much advice out there and most of it is contradictory so the only way to know what to do with your newly acquired human is to figure it out yourself.
This post is not me telling other parents what to do. This stuff I found that worked for me might not work for you or your family. This is simply what I personally wish I’d known when I had my first child. Everyone is different so you will find what works for you and your family. I just wish I’d found my own way sooner and knowing these things would have helped me spend less time worrying and more time figuring out what to actually do. So here goes!
No. 1 – So first of all. Don’t tell anyone your baby name ideas. Not even your siblings. Maybe your mums but only if you are sure they will like them e.g. You are naming the baby after them or their mum. People love to make their opinions known before baby arrives and if those opinions are negative then you will only be offended and put off choosing your favourite name. It’s your baby so name them what you like. When baby is here and you tell people the name they will either say “aww that’s lovely!!!” (they like it) or “Where’s that come from then?” (they don’t like it – in which case you can just ignore them)
No. 2 – Don’t let them induce you unless there is a valid clinical reason! I had a summer baby so I know how hard it is being too hot and too big to think straight. Although I had been told by other mums and my NCT coach to avoid being induced, I still went along with being induced for the sole reason I was 10 days over my due date, because I was so bloody sick of being pregnant. Unless there is a valid clinical reason e.g. Baby is not growing, heartbeat is not good, waters have gone but nothing is happening, you have gestational diabetes, blah blah blah… JUST WAIT. I pushed out an 11 pounder 12 days past my due date with just gas and air and no stitches the second time with absolutely zero drama. No induction necessary thanks!
No. 3 – DO NOT USE JOHNSONS BABY PRODUCTS THEY WILL TEAR YOUR BABY’S SKIN TO SHREDS
Now you may think this is an overstatement but let me explain. Newborn babies have brand new beautiful skin that doesn’t require soap to clean. They also have a natural baby smell. Don’t be fooled into thinking that JOHNSONS smell is baby smell. It’s really not. Baby will fall into a lovely sleep if they smell their mother not some perfumed lavender crap. These products are full of so many chemicals if baby skin reacts to it you will have no idea what is causing the reaction. Just bathe new baby in plain old cotton wool and water. If some of the gunk won’t shift don’t worry about it just try again the next day. My oldest daughter suffered terribly in the first weeks of life with eczema for no reason because I used products her skin reacted to which still makes me sad to think about.
No. 4 – get Amazon Prime/Family. Not only will you be able to watch loads of box sets on Prime TV whilst you are sat on the sofa breastfeeding 24/7 for 3 weeks, you’ll also be able to buy everything you could possibly need on Amazon and it’ll be with you within 24 hours. Sorted. No need to go out and buy loads of baby crap before baby arrives that you probably won’t use then when baby comes you find out what you REALLY need and have to fork out for even more baby crap. Also with Amazon Family you can subscribe and save on nappies, wipes and pregnacare.
No. 5 – keep taking your pregnacare for at least a year after the birth or 3 months after you stop breastfeeding whichever is the longer. Trust me your hair, teeth and osteoporosis free bones will thank you for it later on!
No. 6 – speaking of baby crap you don’t need here is a list of stuff that you don’t need… JUST USE A MUSLIN (either normal size or giant size). Don’t get me wrong; buy this stuff if it makes you happy but all I’m saying is you don’t NEED it so don’t feel obliged to buy it.
Moses basket sheets pack of 2 £6 (the cradle cap and new baby hair fell off soon after birth so I was putting a Muslin over the Moses basket fitted sheet so I could wash that instead of the sheet on a daily basis… WHAT’S THE POINT OF THAT????)
Swaddling wraps £12.50 each! (Large Muslin folded into triangle does the same job)
Superhero capes/princess dresses/fairy wings (when they are older you will thank me for inventive fancy dress ideas using nothing but a Muslim draped creatively. This might be worth a separate blog post one day. They have to dress up every 5 minutes and have you seen the price of fancy dress!! If you ever have to fork out for real fancy dress try the supermarket clothing sections for best value for money)
Pushchair Sun Shades £20-£50! (Many of these turn the pushchair into an oven. Just drape a large muslin over the pushchair and the air goes straight through so they stay cool. Just remember to be sensible amount how much sunlight is getting through and whether you need sunscreen on baby too)
Changing mat liners 2 pack up to £8 (a piece of fabric you place between cold changing mat and baby’s bottom… MUSLIN)
Burp cloths 3 pack £6 (now you’re just taking the piss! This nifty invention is a piece of fabric you place on your shoulder so that when you are burping baby and she vomits you don’t get it in your top… MUSLIN)
Breastfeeding covers £15 each (not only are these a rip off and a muslin can be easily used instead, why the hell should you cover up whilst feeding. If anyone ever tells you to cover up whilst feeding then I suggest putting the muslin on their head rather than your baby’s)
I could go on. Basically stock pile on muslins like they are shot gun rounds in a zombie apocalypse and you’ll be fine!
No. 7 breastfeed all the time. As soon as that baby gets put in your arms unhook that nightdress and do skin to skin. Let baby latch on ASAP and don’t take her away from that breast for 3 weeks. Honestly every time that baby cries it’s because they’re not attached to you. They’ve spent 9 months which is their entire existence inside you. There is no way you can spoil a baby by feeding/holding too much. The only way your milk will come in is if you feed every 2 hours at least. Sometimes it can take an hour to empty both breasts so it will feel like you are feeding all the time. This is normal don’t worry. Don’t wake a sleeping baby to feed unless it has been 4 hours since the start of the last feed and after day five NEVER wake them between midnight and 6am. If they wake on their own then of course feed!
And whatever they told you in breastfeeding classes about it only hurting when the latch is bad.. LIES. At first it bloody hurts. Your nipples might BLEED. Your baby might then vomit that blood up so DON’T FREAK OUT! I wish someone had told me this. If no one shows you how to feed lying down so you can sleep at the same time then call your health visitor and ask them to show you. It’s the only way you will survive. I wish someone had shown me this sooner.
No. 8 – sign up to all the baby classes. You may think that £8.50 on a baby yoga and meditation class is a waste of time and money but you’d be very wrong. Signing, swimming, massage, gymnastics, trust me there’s a baby version of it out there. Not only do these classes give structure to your day and force you out of the house, they are a great way to meet other mums and to learn the words to nursery rhymes.
No. 9 – Enjoy as much as you can and know the bad bits will pass. Have a good journey through life with this little one. This is going to be amazing!!!
